When Nat had returned to Mondstadt she went straight to bed, hearing Albedo come in to check on her at some point, before leaving her to sleep. The next few days she told Albedo about her brothers and how she wasn’t sure what to feel. Albedo had assured her they trusted Nat, but her mind refused to believe it.

Nat was looking for Albedo when she ran into Lisa in the alchemy workshop early one afternoon. Albedo and Lisa had been interviewing candidates to be Albedo’s assistant, and head alchemist of the Knights. After all the time Albedo had taken off to care for Nat, they thought it was time he wasn’t alone in his efforts.

“Cutie, you just missed him, said he had to take care of some things on Dragonspine but would be back for dinner,” Lisa explained from behind her desk, “but I’ve been meaning to check on you,” Lisa started, beckoning Nat over to a medical bed. Nat had been avoiding her check in with Lisa, who wanted to check on her wound and how well it was healing, it was something she wasn’t looking forward to.

Nat hopped up onto the table, undoing her corset, which was already tied lightly, before lifting up her sweater to reveal her torso. Nat’s scar was deep, red, and still slightly bruised as Lisa knelt down to examine it, taking notes in her book as she touched the wound, causing Nat to flinch. Lisa stood up, signaling for Nat to put herself back together before taking a seat next to her on the table.

“Your wound is healing well, much quicker than originally expected thanks to Jean. I always forget how powerful Anemo is as a healing agent.” Lisa smiled at Nat, who gave a weak smile in reply. Lisa continued, “How’s the pain?” She asked.

“It hasn’t been too bad these last few days, but I’ve made sure to rest, or I should say Albedo’s made sure I’m resting.” Nat paused and Lisa waited for her to continue. “I’ve had some nausea, I’m guessing that’s from where the wound was initially located. Some headaches, abdominal pains if I do too much,” Nat paused once more before continuing, “I’ve been really sad, but I think that’s my pain in the ass brothers and not the wound,” Nat let out a weak laugh as she waited for Lisa’s response.

“Well that all sounds normal, I do have one more question for you.” Lisa paused to make sure she had Nat’s full attention before continuing, “When we were patching you up upon your return, I noticed some previous scarring on both your sides. They look like possible burn wounds, as well as an incision. I normally wouldn’t prod, but Kaeya and Albedo, as well as Jean, have all inquired about them.” Nat felt the color drain from her face at Lisa’s comments. She knew Kaeya had seen it recently, but forgot that Jean and Lisa had seen them as well when Nat was initially injured. Not to mention her and Albedo were meant to talk about them a few weeks ago when he noticed them in the bedroom. She took a deep breath as Lisa took her hand. Lisa continued, “You have lots of people who are here for you Nat, they’re just worried. Considering those scars didn’t change from your healing process I know they’re older as well. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” There was a long silence between them before Nat spoke up, keeping her head down.

“The Fatui experimented on me as a child,” Nat said in a whisper. Lisa’s eyes widened, she had heard that the Fatui experimented on young children before, it was a fast spreading rumor during her days at the Akademiya, but she had never known someone affected by it. “Dotttore, the Harbinger, led the experiments.” Nat didn’t know what to say, she had never told anyone about her past and had only talked with Ajax about her time in the Zapolyarny Palace.

“Have you told your family?” Lisa questioned, perplexing Nat.

“My parents basically offered me to the Fatui on a platter,” Nat responded and Lisa rolled her eyes.

“No Cutie, your new family: Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, and your guild friends.”

“Albedo noticed them a few weeks ago in bed,” Nat blushed, embarrassed, knowing she was disclosing information about their intimate life, “I ignored his questions, but he inquired again about them the next morning. Noelle called for us to join a knights meeting before I could answer.” Lisa looked sympathetically at Nat. “That’s as close as I’ve gotten until now.” Nat finished.

“I know opening up about past trauma is hard, but you can lean on Albedo. And those idiot brothers of yours too,” Lisa giggled as she stood up, returning to her desk and filing away her reports on Nat’s wounds. “Tell them. It’ll help you heal the sadness inside.” Nat knew Lisa was right, and she excused herself from the room, thanking Lisa for her help.

Nat returned to her room and looked at herself in the mirror, pulling up her shirt to look at the scars. Her new wound dotted the i of her original scar, surrounded by splatterings of burn marks. She took a deep breath, she had tried to not think of those days, but she realized how much she had kept from her loved ones. How knowing her past could’ve helped them understand her more, explained her nightmares. She thought about Albedo’s face when he first saw them, she watched him mentally file the image away for a conversation Nat had all but avoided. It wasn’t until now that she thought of the pain she may be causing Albedo, hiding such an intimate and important part of her life from him. Or how telling Kaeya and Diluc could’ve helped them trust her more.

Nat went to her closet, grabbed her jacket and hat, and started to walk to Dragonspine. Lisa had said Albedo would be back for dinner, but it wasn’t even lunch time yet and she needed to talk to him. Nat was on a mission as she trekked past Windrise and up the mountain side of Dadaupa Gorge, ignoring the pain forming in her side as she found her way to the snow covered path that led to Albedo’s lab. When she got to the broken bridge, she used her geo powers to create a walkway that allowed her to easily cross. She arrived at the lab to see Albedo walking toward her, of course he had heard her coming.

“Nat are you okay? What are you doing here?” Albedo questioned as he hugged her hello, more affectionate than usual since her accident, pulling back to kiss her forehead. They walked into the lab, closer to the fire where Albedo had a few chairs, as Nat answered.

“I’m okay really, I just really needed to talk to you.” Nat answered, and Albedo raised an eyebrow. They sat down next to one another, Albedo bringing his chair closer to Nat. “I’m sorry if I’ve been hurting you,” Nat started, and Albedo took her hand.

“Natayla, you’re the one who has been recovering from an arrow to the side. I am not hurting, you couldn’t hurt me.” He smiled reassuringly.

“Albedo I’ve made you bleed before,” Nat nervously laughed, “But no, I’ve been hurting you and hiding some things from you. You’re too smart to hide things from, I know it’s been bothering you.” Nat looked up at Albedo, who was looking endearingly at heer. “It’s about my scars… Well, the older ones. The ones you saw a few weeks ago and asked about.”

“Nat, you don’t have to now-” Albedo started, but Nat interrupted, squeezing his hand and closing her eyes.

“Yes I do, so listen please. You know I don’t talk often about my parents, but it’s because they are horrible people and are higher ranking in the Fatui.” Nat paused, taking a breath.

“I never realized your parents were Fatui members, I thought they were just loyal followers.” Albedo cocked his head.

“Yeah, they became members of the Fatui when I was two or three, by the time I left they worked directly with each harbinger on different projects. It was horrible, they prioritized whatever the Fatui wanted and were very politically savvy.” Nat paused looking at Albedo, who was giving her all of his attention as the fire sparked besides them. “When I was six or so my parents were approached by Dottore, one of the Harbingers, and he wanted to use me for some research. Of course, my parents agreed and they happily handed me over to Dottore and another Harbinger. They would bring me to the Zapolyarny Palace, home of the Tsaritsa, and they experimented on me.” Nat looked down, feeling tears brimming. Albedo squeezed her hand, reminding her that he was here.

“They experimented on a child?” Albedo asked, and Nat shook her head in agreement.

“They experimented on a lot of children, my torture only ended when Dottore decided to go back to Sumeru, his homeland. I can only imagine what he did to children out there,” Nat paused, taking another deep breath. She continued, “At first, they would take some blood and do some poking and prodding. After a few months, they started to test out weird creams and lotions on my body to see if I would react. Then they would put me in this machine, it would radiate heat into specific areas of my body. They mostly would hit my hips and abdomen, and that’s where a lot of the scars you’ve seen are from.”

“And your parents were okay with this?” Albedo inquired, using his free hand to wipe away a tear on Nat’s cheek before it could freeze.

“My parents didn’t care as long as the Fatui we’re happy. They usually didn’t even pick me up, I would always go to Ajax’s afterwards.”

“Your friend. His family knew?”

“They knew from me and Ajax, so whatever kids could say. I think they knew my parents didn’t care for me and saw me more as a tool, so they would invite me in, tend to my wounds, and cook me dinner many nights.” Nat reminisced of Ajax putting medicinal herbs on her side, his mom quickly following with a bandage, so used to fixing up her adventurer husband.

“Do you miss them?” Nat looked up at Albedo’s question and smiled.

“Of course, they were my real family. Ajax had so many siblings, his mom had just had a baby, Teucer, he was maybe three or four when we left. But I can’t imagine going back and seeing them, knowing Ajax is dead, they must blame me. I don’t even know if they ever found his body, or if he’s still out there in the tundra…” Nat trailed off, a tear falling down her cheek.

“I’m sorry Nat, I know things haven’t been easy, but I didn’t realize how bad they had truly been.” Albedo put his hand on Nat’s shoulder, looking at her endearingly. Nat leaned into his hand, before quickly standing up, she knew if she got too comfortable she wouldn’t finish what she had to say. Albedo was slightly taken aback from her abrupt movement, worried he had upset Nat, who had started to pace back and forth, looking at the ground. She noticed his tension.

“Sorry, this stuff makes me anxious. It makes me feel like I’m burning up,” Nat said as she started to take off her coat, placing it on her chair before continuing, “So the last thing. I had surgery, but I’m really not sure what type of surgery,” Nat stopped pacing, facing Albedo as she started to untie her corset, placing it on the chair as well. Albedo was confused, but didn’t stop her, he had an idea of where she was going. Nat continued, taking off her sweater, and unbuttoning the bottom half of her blouse, exposing her torso. She tugged down on her pants, just enough to showcase a four inch scar that was never properly stitched or cared for. Nat continued, “This scar is from a surgery I have never fully understood. They just took it.” Nat exclaimed, feeling a manic energy in her tone.

Albedo stood up, walking over to Nat, squatting in front of her to have a better look at the scar. He observed it, forcing a flush to cross Nat’s face as she held onto his shoulder. He observed the uneven stitching the scar showcased, the dark coloring, and the depth of it. Albedo had seen this mark a few times, but always had been quickly shoo’d away, or told it was something they would discuss later. He had never seen it up close, understood its origins. He brushed his thumb against it, feeling all the ridges. Without standing up, he spoke.

“What did they take?” His voice was soft, but angry. While he hadn’t known Nat at the time, the idea that someone had hurt her in ways she wasn’t able to fully comprehend enraged him. He thought of Klee, who was almost the same age as Nat when her torture commenced, and his blood started to boil.

“I’m not sure, my parents never knew,” Nat closed her eyes, knowing this was the hardest part. “I think it may have been my reproductive system.” Nat exclaimed, keeping her eyes closed and trying to talk as matter of fact as possible. She was afraid to look at Albedo, “I haven’t had a period, ever. Ajax’s mom was surprised when I had never had one, so we both made an assumption that Dottore took away my ability to have kids. I know I should have mentioned that earlier, not that you and I are ready for kids, or marriage, but it’s something I should’ve been forthcoming with. I don’t know if you want kids ever, but that’s something I may not be able to help with,” Nat knew she was rambling, but she truly did feel bad. They were too young for this type of talk, but it wasn’t fair if Albedo wanted a family one day. Albedo calmed her with a kiss on her scar, before he stood back up, helping Nat button her shirt back up in silence. After the last button he helped with her sweater and corset, pulling her in for a hug once she was redressed.

Nat buried her face in Albedo’s shoulder, as tears poured out. She hadn’t said any of this in so long, she hadn’t thought about the pain or trauma in such depth since she arrived in Mondstadt so many years ago. She wasn’t sure how long they stood there before Albedo spoke.

“Thank you for being open with me,” Albedo started as he pulled away to look at Nat, wiping away her tears. “This changes nothing for me, I still love you, but I’m furious at the Fatui and this Dottore and your parents.” Nat laughed and Albedo smiled gently at her before continuing. “Klee is enough kid for me right now, and there are many children in Teyvat that need loving families if we ever decide we want kids of any kind, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

“No, I think we have enough going on.” Nat responded with a smile. Albedo helped Nat with her coat and made tea for them, followed by some chit chat about Lisa, the interviews, and the work he was doing on Dragonspine. He could tell Nat was still distant and full of thought after their talk, and he didn’t blame her. He was having a hard time processing his emotions about it as well, a small part of Albedo was vengeful toward the Fatui, another felt like he finally understood why Nat constantly had her guard up. He knew other knights and even some citizens of Mondstadt knew she was from Snezhnaya and that they whispered about her when she wasn’t around. “She could easily betray Mond, why would Varka trust someone like that, and she could be a double agent” were all things Albedo had heard others say. Of course he had lectured these individuals, who often didn’t know of their personal relationship, but he could only imagine what it was like for Nat to be constantly associated with a group that had hurt her so much.

When they finally left the snowy mountain, Albedo carried Nat on his back. Her wound was pounding at her side from her hike up and the tea hadn’t helped too much with the nausea that accompanied it. When they arrived to the gates of Mondstadt the sun was starting to set, but Nat still had one more thing to do.

“Do you know what Kaeya’s assignment for today was?” Nat inquired to Albedo, who had attended the weekly knight’s meeting the morning before.

“He was covering your tasks, and should be back from Liyue this evening. Why do you ask? Are you still avoiding the Ragnvindrs?” Albedo asked.

“I was, but I need to tell them what I told you.” Nat said as they walked through the gates.

“Hm, very well. Please go to your room, I’ll gather them and meet you there, but I won’t stay. I think they’ll need to hear it from just you.” Albedo kissed Nat on the forehead before turning around to head to the Dawn Winery to escort Diluc back to the city. Nat went to her room, mentally preparing to tell the story of her past for a third time today.

When Albedo returned, both Diluc and Kaeya looked worried. They knew Nat had been avoiding them, but she kindly beckoned them to take a seat before saying goodbye to Albedo.

“Is everything okay? Albedo made this sound like an urgent manner,” Diluc inquired.

“I haven’t been as forthcoming with you both about my past as I would like,” Nat started, “And I know Kaeya you have seen some scarring that has been worrisome to you.” Kaeya felt a light flush on his cheeks, knowing he had been caught when he noticed Nat’s old wounds. “I want to open up to you both, but please let me tell it straight through without questions.” The brothers both nodded in understanding as Nat reexplained everything, leaving out the parts of how she couldn’t have kids, thinking it wasn’t as important for them to understand and they could deduce it on their own later. When the Ragnvindr boys were quiet, Nat grew worried “So you can understand why I have a hard time when people associate me with my homeland or the Fatui, as you know many lower knights do. I don’t like to be associated with a group that I have never once trusted.” Kaeya was the first to move, or talk, or do anything. He slowly got up and gave Nat a hug, still overly affectionate since her accident.

“I had no idea, to be honest, when I saw the scars I considered they were from a different accident, or a fire, not this. This is truly horrendous Nat.” Kaeya said as he stepped out of the hug. Diluc stayed seated.

“Thank you for opening up Nat. I’m sorry this has happened to someone like you.” Diluc’s response seemed to irk Kaeya, but he didn’t say anything, just tsked and turned his head. Nat thought this was strange, but interjected.

“I hope this explains why I got mad the other day. It’s bad enough you were gone without a trace Diluc, but to find out you both had talked, it hurt. People around here don’t trust me, and maybe if they knew the truth they would realize I would never work for the Fatui or help them and the Tsaritsa. I’m sorry if I got short and angry.”

“You’ve always been feisty Nat, I understand. Please remember I’m here.” Kaeya put a hand on her shoulder and smiled as Diluc stood up.

“Yes, please know that you are a trusted associate Natayla,” Diluc said in a cold tone, “but I have to attend to some matters at the winery. Please stop by for dinner one night this week.” With that Diluc walked out.

“Well, wasn’t that short. Wonder what’s wrong with him,” Kaeya commented on Diluc’s behavior before continuing, “Lets get dinner, my treat.” Nat agreed and the two headed out for Good Hunter.

When Nat returned to her room that night, she had a lot on her mind, feeling emotionally drained when Albedo stopped by. She let him in, forcing him to stay the night, worried nightmares may flood her sleep after all the opening up she had done today.

“I’m proud of you Nat,” Albedo whispered before they fell asleep and Nat smiled. She was proud too, it had been a very long week but she felt things may finally get a little better.