Nat was frozen, she knew people were talking around her but she didn’t know what they were saying. She hadn’t seen her mother in years and had avoided talking or thinking about her as much as she could. Now in the middle of Mondstadt, she was face to face with the monster that let her get hurt. The woman who cared more about status than her child’s well being. It wasn’t until she felt the icy cool touch of Kaeya’s hand on her shoulder that Nat came back to reality.

“Is this really your mother?” He whispered to Nat. She looked up at Kaeya and over to Albedo and Jean before looking back at her mom. The woman with the same colored eyes as her. 

“Natayla, we thought you were dead, that you had some sort of accident with that adventurer’s son,” her mom walked closer, touching Nat’s cheek causing her to take a step back, stumbling on her feet. Kaeya caught Nat’s elbow, before stepping half in front of Nat, keeping any additional physical affection away. Her mom took a step back at Kaeya’s approach, standing tall against the Knight. “This isn’t your business Knight, acting Grand Master,” she said looking to Jean, “this is my daughter and as a Fatui Diplomat I demand he step down so we can talk.”

The word daughter echoed in Nat’s ear and she felt her scars ache as her heart began to race. Jean walked over to Nat’s mom.

“Aksana was it?” Jean questioned, Nat’s mom nodded as Jean continued, “Thank you for taking some time to visit Mondstadt. Natayla is a Knight of Favonius and needs to report back to headquarters for the evening to start her shift as night guard. If you would like to further discuss matters with her, she will be available in my office in the morning.” Aksana was stunned by Jean’s response, her cheeks burning red in anger. Nat couldn’t tell if she was mad at Jean, Kaeya, or at Nat for being a traitor knight. Before her mom could answer, Kaeya and Albedo had taken Nat by the arms and started walking her back to headquarters. You could hear Aksana start to scold Jean, who took it with a smile on her face.

The walk to headquarters for Nat’s fake shift as the fake night guard was mostly quiet. When they were almost to headquarters she mumbled, “She goes by Sana.” This surprised Kaeya and Albedo, who really didn’t know what to expect from Nat. Nat had seldom talked about her parents until she recently opened up about her childhood. The boys were both worried to prod. Nat took the silence in before speaking again. “I wonder if Papa came too.” When they reached headquarters Nat brought them around back, needing the fresh air, as she leaned on the retaining wall, looking out over the wall toward the Dawn Winery.

“How are you feeling Nat?” Kaeya inquired. She thought about his question.

“The last time I saw my mom was the morning I ran away,” Nat responded, turning to face the boys. She told them the story of the morning she left, how she had gotten up earlier than usual in order to beat her parents out the door, but they were already awake. They sat down and had a family breakfast together when her mom raved about Dottore and Pulcinella. 

“Master Dottore was singing your praises at this month’s review Natayla. He wished more young Snezhnayans were just like you.” Her mom had told her in a sing-song voice. Nat’s stomach had turned and she stopped eating her breakfast. Her mom had continued, “Pulcinella said he’s going to stop by next week so please make sure the home is clean and you’re dressed in your best attire.” Nat replied yes mother as she took her plate to the sink, washing it off quickly, excusing herself to the restroom. Nat wasn’t sure what to do, she could hear her parents chatting about Pulcinella’s visit and their duties for the day. She quietly grabbed her bag from her room, and climbed out her bedroom window, never looking back.

Nat snapped back to reality as she finished her story.

“Do you want to see her tomorrow?” Albedo questioned.

“I think I have no choice, she’s here. I need to confront it. Luckily, I’m not a kid anymore, she can’t drag me back to Snezhnaya.” Nat nervously laughed.

“Not that we would let her,” Kaeya scoffed and Nat smiled. She looked out for a little while longer before talking again.

“You know, I always wondered what would happen if I saw her again,” Nat pondered. Albedo walked over, leaning against the wall, looking at Nat from the side. “I thought I would hit her, or cry, or pretend I didn’t know her,” Nat paused and Albedo looked at her profile. Nat was truly lost in thought as she stared into the distance. Her eyes were watery, but he knew she wasn’t going to cry and it was best to not interrupt her. He wished there was something he could do to make this all go away.

“Unfortunately, our past always seems to catch up to us at some point,” Kaeya started, standing behind Nat, arms crossed as he looked down at his feet. “You have a rare opportunity, Natalya, to stop the past in its tracks or allow it to continue on. Of course, if things go wrong I’ll be waiting outside to watch your parents slip on some icy floors.” Kaeya snickered, making Nat laugh. “I’ll leave you two, I’ll be in the library tomorrow if you need me.” Kaeya proclaimed before leaving for the night.

Nat and Albedo stayed outside together in quiet before returning to their rooms, Albedo leaving Nat to have some time to herself at her own request. Once Albedo left, Nat gathered her things and took a shower, making the water as hot as the knights allowed. The water felt like nothing compared to the catastrophic mess happening inside of her, her insides were turning, her scars felt like they were being dug open, and her brain would not shut off. She leaned her head against the shower wall and closed her eyes, flashbacks of her childhood played across her eyelids. Being scolded for not standing straight, being forced to attend dark and dreary galas full of Fatui, and of course being left over and over and over at the Zapolyarny Palace. Snow, blood, bolts of light, fire, and the joyous faces on her parents while everything seemed to fall apart around her. Nat leaned back, and slammed her fist against the shower wall as a tear finally fell down her cheek. Nat turned, leaning back onto the shower wall until she slid down to sit, pulling her knees to her chest as the water beat down on her and she cried. Nat wasn’t sure how long she sat there for before the water started to run cold and she returned to her room to crawl under the covers and hope tomorrow morning took a very long time to come.

Unfortunately for Nat, the morning came much sooner than she wanted. She got up and slowly got dressed, proudly fastening her knights badge to her belt and her Geo vision to her collar, which reminded her that she didn’t have a vision when she last saw her mother. That made Nat feel better, like the powers of her Geo vision would make talking to her diabolical mother a little easier.

Nat started walking to Jean’s office, but instead found Jean standing at the top of the stairs waiting for her. 

“Good morning Acting Grand Master,” Nat greeted Jean, formally, not knowing who may be listening.

“Good morning Nat,” Jean responded, tension in her voice, “Your mother is currently in my office. Kaeya will be standing guard at the library for a bit so Wyratt can check in on something. Albedo will be fixing a hole in the floor in Solitary Confinement. I will be upstairs, if you need something, we’ll be here.” Jean explained. Nat quietly thanked Nat as she continued down the stairs, nodding to Albedo and Kaeya who we’re chatting at the entrance to the library, across from Jean’s office.

Nat stood, facing the closed door, taking a deep breath as she reached for the knob, entered the room, and closed the door behind her. Nat still faced the door once inside, taking one more breath before turning around to see her mother leaning against Jean’s desk, arms folded. Nat took a moment to really take in her mother: She had aged, with wrinkles forming around her eyes, her once golden blonde hair was now more brown, but her golden eyes, the same as Nat’s, had lost a sparkle they had once had when Nat was young. Her mother wore traditional Fatui garb comprised of a long blue jacket, with a black pants suit underneath, a fur lining around the collar and the top of her pointed boots. Aksana was clearly a powerhouse in the Fatui based on the number of pins on her lapel. Her mothers mask, a clear designator of the Fatui in foreign lands, was in her hands, Nat assumed she had worn it into the office.

“Natalya,” Akana spoke, sounding lost in her own thoughts, “you’re a knight?”

“Yes.” Nat answered simply, quietly, unsure of how she was truly processing everything.

“What a shame, Pulcinella had so many plans for you.” Her mother sounded even more disappointed with every word she spoke, “And Dottore too, maybe you’ll see him while he’s in town, thank him for everything he did.” Her mother walked closer to Nat. “Dottore was so good to you,” she said, extending her hand and brushing the backside of her palm against Nat’s cheek. Nat grabbed her mom’s hand with a gentle force, pushing it away.

“What do you think happened in the Zapolyarny Palace?” Nat asked as calmly as she could.

“I don’t know, you weren’t much of a talker, apparently you still aren’t,” she scoffed, “but I know it was for our homeland, for peace. Your running away certainly dampened plans, but luckily Dottore was too preoccupied with a Sumeran child to worry about your disappearance.”

“Was my life a game to you?” Nat questioned as she stepped to the side of her mother, not liking how close they were.

“You were lucky to be chosen, to be safe.” Her mother scorned, turning her head to look at Nat.

“Do you consider the harm done to me lucky? I still have nightmares about what I went through with Dottore and his team,” Nat slightly raised her voice, doing her best to stay calm, to not cry. Her mother stood silent, and Nat took the opportunity to take off her belt and untuck her shirt, ready to show her mother exactly what they did. Her mother looked confused by Nat’s actions, but watched her diligently. Nat pulled her shirt up and pushed down her pants enough to show her scars. “Is this lucky Mama?” She asked, a hitch in her tone. Her mom’s angered face turned slightly softer at the scars that covered her daughter’s abdomen.

“What is that from?” She asked, trying to not sound concerned.

“Dottore Mama, he took away my chance to have kids. Burned me, injected me and did archons know what else,” Nat exclaimed as she let go of her shirt, balling her fists at her sides.

“You don’t want kids anyway, they’re just a bargaining chip. You’re lucky after all,” She responded, turning away from Nat, but the slight hint of remorse had been missed by Nat, who was now furious. So furious she could feel pebbles forming and swarming around her fists.

“Was I just a bargaining chip to you? Did you only have me to use me? To let the Fatui do whatever they wanted? For what? Power? Status?”

“You don’t understand, you are nothing more than a deal to me.” Her mother spoke, and Nat felt like she had been slapped in the face as her mother walked away from Nat, toward the bookshelves in Jean’s office, leaning on the railings.

“Mama, did you never want to have me?” Nat asked in a quiet voice, quivering in her throat.

“I never wanted children, neither did your Father. The funny thing is, he didn’t really have the child. He isn’t your father, he just helped to raise you, he was lucky.” She said, venomously, like all the regrets she has about having Nat were coming out right now. All the anger, regret, and distaste she had toward her daughter.

“What do you mean Papa isn’t my father…” Nat trailed, confused.

“Your true father is a higher up in the Fatui, maybe one day I’ll tell you who. He wanted a child, someone who would become greater than anyone else, I was the unlucky dame chosen to be your mother.” Nat’s mom responded, turning to face Nat, a smug smile on her face. “In all honesty we were both victims here, but look at what it gave me, even with your defiance: Status, power, wealth. The Tsaritsa looks on me with pride, but not you. You could change that by returning, letting Dottore finish where he started. Maybe even then I’ll tell you who your true Papa is. They could’ve chosen any of the orphans from House of Hearth, but you were made for greatness, DNA hand selected from numerous Fatui women. Remember that all your goods and bads are because of me, you would be nothing without me.” She raised her voice, pointing a finger at Nat as she walked closer and was in Nat’s face. 

Nat wanted to be angry, to scream but all she could think of was that her mom was similar to her. Forced to have a child when she didn’t want it. Forced against her will to carry Nat, carry a higher ups genetics, something Nat couldn’t wrap her head around. 

“I’m sorry,” Nat whispered, choking on her words as a tear fell down her face. “I’m sorry for what they did to you.” This caught Aksana off guard as she took a step back, looking at Nat who continued, “You didn’t deserve to be forced into something you didn’t want. Nobody does. That’s why I left. I didn’t agree with the Fatui, I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I came here to fight for freedom, my rights, myself. I hope one day you can respect that.” Nat said as another tear fell. Her mother took a step back, unsure how to respond.

“What a brat, thinking we are anything the same. You turned your back on your people, I have done nothing but help. You’re ridiculous.” She screamed as she opened the door to Jean’s office and stormed off, leaving Nat staring at an empty doorway into the lobby, tear marks staining her cheeks. 

Kaeya, who had been guarding the library, watched Askana run out of headquarters without even acknowledging him, then he looked to see Nat in the doorway, crying. He immediately ran up to her, taking her in for a hug as she continued to cry into his shoulder. When she could finally compose herself, she sniffled and said, “Kaeya, you’re freezing my tears to my cheek.” Kaeya pulled back looking at Nat who did, in fact, have ice drops on her face, causing them both to giggle. He took in the scene: Nat’s untucked shirt, tears, the pebbles on the ground, he could only imagine that she had had an emotional conversation. “Can we go get a drink please?” Nat whispered, Kaeya laughed and shook his head, putting an arm around his sister as they left Jean’s office. He would find out what happened eventually, but for now it was time to grab Albedo and head to Angel’s Share. While it was early, they had an in with today’s bar keep, so they weren’t too worried.